Jesus Christ in kanto

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Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  WindDrake on Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:01 am

This is a prototype for a story I wrote when I was drunk from tiredness at about 6 am, if there are any spelling grammar errors, it was because I was nearly falling asleep writing it, remembr its just a prototype and the starting ground for a thing I will likely start and forget about very quickly

The Adventures of Super Jesus in Kanto

It seemed like the average morning in the small town of Pallet, but it would inevitably change the lives of everyone. The story starts in a small house where a future pokémon master happily sleeps, dreaming of the adventures he will have when he gets his first pokémon of Professor Oak. Unfortunately for Jesus he was supposed to get his pokémon 3 hours ago and there were only 3 pokémon available, even though Professor Oak knew there were five people looking for starter pokémon he just wanted to be an asshole because he’s bored off his ass looking after every other pokémon trainer’s garbage pokémon every day.
Just then Jesus’ Mother walks into the room “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU EVER GET UP” she yells “This is possibly the most important day of your life and even though I have obviously been awake for ages I decided not to wake you until now because I wanted to watch my soaps in peace”. Jesus jumps out of bed in alarm “Holy crap, I’m already too late but I don’t think I’ll change” he says as he flies out the door and down to the pokélab where that asshole Moses was waiting to rub his squirtle in Jesus’ face. “That’s right my adoring fans I got the best pokémon and jesus is stuck with the garbage pokémon”, all his fans fell over in awe of Moses’ coolness, Jesus ignores him and runs inside. “Professor Oak!!” cries Jesus “Are there any pokémon left?”
“I’m sorry but no, all the good pokémon have gone to the people who got here first” Professor Oak declares “Luckily though we do have a pikachu here, it was left here because nobody wants a pikachu”.
Jesus stares at Professor Oak in disbelief “A pikachu? So wait just a second, one trainer gets a fire breathing reptile that will eventually have massive wings, Moses gets a super fast turtle that will eventually grow cannons on his back and another trainer gets a half dinosaur half plant that can shoot beams out of its back, and you give me a common garden rat with jaundice?”
“Well when you put it like that it does sound pretty bad… then again theres another kid in town whos late I’ll give that pikachu to him, I’m sure I have another pokémon around here somewhere…” professor Oak begins to rummage through a big box of pokeballs until finally taking out a great ball. “Now heres a pokémon you can have Jesus, it’s a nidoran♂ it will kick some serious ass, just don’t let any meteorites hit it until you’ve made it quite strong” Oak says handing him the pokeball “Hey you know what’d be fun, nidoran♂ is weak to psychic so lets have a battle and I’ll use a kadabra… don’t worry it’ll be the same level”
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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  WindDrake on Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:36 am

Oh btw please leave comments on what you think of it, dont worry I can take criticism.
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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  Mozillo on Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:30 am

Wow! What level is that Nidoran? If it is going against a kadabra of equal level... then it must've evolved by now unless Oak is a stingy bastard and stopped it evolving

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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  Whillikers on Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:49 pm

He obviously lied!

He is an asshole afterall!

I bet that Kadabra was lvl 99.

Just noone would trade with him 'cause he's an asshole so he couldn't get an Alakazam!

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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  Kamatari on Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:09 pm

common garden rat with jauntice lmao

Out of all the people in the world you could have chosen, why Jesus and Moses?
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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  WindDrake on Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:58 pm

I dont know, it seemed relevant at the time.
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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  Mozillo on Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:03 pm

How can that seem relevant? AT ANY TIEM?

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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  BlastedS on Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:09 pm

Well maybe he was reading the bible...

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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  WindDrake on Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:34 pm

Well actually I had just told chris that we could have been christ but he ruined it.
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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  Mozillo on Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:50 pm

i do believe you meant HE not WE. But, i don't like tea....

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Re: Jesus Christ in kanto

Post  WindDrake on Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:14 am

oops yeah I meant he
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